8 Ways to Help Build Self-Esteem in Children
Self-esteem is an essential aspect of a person’s character and integral to child development.
Having strong self-esteem increases a child’s belief in themselves and their self-confidence, and fosters positive feelings about themselves.
A high level of self-esteem produces happy, resilient, and successful children, and contributes to healthy and strong relationship formation with peers and adults.
When a person has stable and high self-esteem, they’re more open to trying new things, taking risks, learning from mistakes, and building courage.
Trusted and influential adults play a vital role in a child’s life, especially when it comes to building their self-esteem and positive self-concept.
Most of the time, the way an adult speaks to children or even the way an adult speaks about themselves or others in front of a child becomes a child’s internal monologue.
Our words carry so much power and can be used for good but also for harm.
The best thing adults can do to help shape a child’s self-esteem is to encourage them, support them, help build their strengths, and increase their self-esteem and ways of positive thinking.
This can feel like an overwhelming task, but it gets easier with awareness and intentionality, which you will be equipped with through the points made below.
How Self-Esteem Develops
A person’s self-esteem is formed over time and is constructed by a combination of factors.
Self-esteem and self-image can be influenced by others in our lives, such as friends, family, teachers, role models, and other important roles.
Social interactions influence a person’s self-esteem, for better or worse. Strong, healthy friendships can increase self-esteem, while negative relationships can be detrimental to a person’s self-esteem, confidence, and overall self-worth.
Be sure to foster independence within your child and teach them problem-solving skills to help them build positive relationships with others.
Healthy self-esteem can be built through positive experiences such as praise, recognition, and success. Conversely, low self-esteem can result from negative experiences such as criticism, bullying, or rejection.
The self-esteem of a person often increases as they age and gain more life experience. The development of healthy coping skills may also help build confidence in the face of challenges.
Why is Self-Esteem Important?
Self-esteem is so important because it influences the way a child perceives themselves. Their perception of themselves influences their success and performance in all areas of life.
High self-esteem enables children to handle stress and frustration more effectively, feel more confident and courageous, and be highly motivated in all areas of life.
Children with low self-esteem tend to have difficulty in academics and relationships and are less able to express their feelings healthily.
Parents play a vital role in developing their child’s self-esteem and building a positive view of themselves.
Giving your child opportunities to make decisions, setting reasonable expectations, and praising their achievements are all important parts of scaffolding their positive self-esteem.
What Causes a Child to Have Low Self-Esteem?
There are a variety of factors that can cause a child to have low self-esteem. Negative experiences greatly contribute to low self-esteem.
Bullying, criticism from others, feeling isolated, having a lack of support, and more can cause a child’s self-esteem to plummet over time, or not even give them a chance to create any positive self-esteem to begin with.
In this day and age, we are subjected to constant media messages about body image, perfectionism, and comparisons with others.
These can also play a role in impacting a child’s growing self-esteem. Of course, we will always encounter negative experiences in life; it’s inevitable.
However, the most important thing is knowing how to cope with these experiences. A person can cope better with life’s disappointments if they have a higher sense of self-worth.
How Do I Know if My Child Has Low Self-Esteem?
It may be difficult to recognize the signs of low self-esteem within your child, which is why it’s important to stay attentive to their behaviors, needs, and patterns of speaking and thinking.
Children with low self-esteem may avoid participating in activities or engaging in working through challenges.
They also may have difficulty making decisions, have issues with trusting others, and lack motivation or enthusiasm. They may also use negative self-talk, feel anxious in social situations, and express emotions in an unsuitable manner.
If you are concerned about your child’s self-esteem, talk to them about it and how they may be feeling. If necessary, seek professional help.
To help your child build confidence, use some of the strategies below at home to develop his or her self-esteem.
8 Ways to Help Children Build Self-Esteem
Encourage Their Effort and Ability
Let your child know you are proud of their hard work and efforts, even when they don’t achieve the desired outcome. It’s very empowering to a child when they’re aware of their parents’ pride in their accomplishments and achievements.
Be their biggest cheerleader. This will influence the way they talk to themselves internally. This may sound similar to, “You worked really hard on that, and you didn’t give up! Great job!”
Acknowledge Successes
Success doesn’t have to be all about the big things; small successes deserve to be celebrated and acknowledged as well.
Set Realistic Expectations
Help your child set realistic goals based on their current capabilities that they can realistically achieve. This way, they can feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.
Avoid Criticism
Constructive feedback is beneficial, but avoid being overly critical or negative in your comments about your child’s efforts or performance. When they feel defeated, it will be harder for them to build positive self-esteem.
It’s possible to be constructive while offering potentially opposing viewpoints without being harsh or overly negative.
Spend Quality Time Together
Spending quality time with your child regularly will show them that you value them.
Some ideas of quality time together include, but are not limited to, participating in a new hobby together, outdoor play, calming activities such as reading books, making art together, or even simply running errands together. It doesn’t have to be elaborate to be meaningful.
Respect Their Feelings and Opinions
Even if you disagree with what your child says, make sure to pay attention to what they are saying and respect their feelings and thoughts.
Model Healthy Self-Esteem
By speaking kindly about yourself and others in front of your kids, you can actively demonstrate to them how to have a positive sense of self-worth.
Show your child how to persist when things don’t go as planned by setting an example for them to follow and encouraging them to do the same when they encounter difficulties.
Foster Independence
Encourage your child to find solutions to their problems on their own whenever feasible, and be present to help them out when they need it.
Cultivating Self-Esteem Within Your Children
As a parent, it is crucial to intentionally assist in building your child’s self-esteem to set them up for success in life.
Parents should emphasize their child’s abilities, encourage them to take on challenging feats, and foster a strong, positive relationship with their children.
Children learn how to make responsible decisions when boundaries and expectations are set. To provide their kids with the best possible support, parents must set an example of a positive self-image and self-esteem and encourage open communication.
The basis of your child’s long-term health and happiness is heavily laid in investing time and energy to help them establish a strong sense of self-worth that will carry them throughout the rest of their life.
We hope this article provided a few easy ideas to get started!
About the Author
Dane Furfaro is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and has worked with children and families for over 10 years. He has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Concordia College and a master’s degree in Educational Psychology with a specialization in counseling from the University of Minnesota. He has been fortunate to empower many students and adults in their journeys to create better futures for themselves.
The content on this website does not aim to diagnose, treat, or prevent any form of medical condition and is not meant as personalized medical/psychological guidance. It is important that you consult a qualified healthcare professional before making any decisions regarding your own and your family’s health and medical treatments.
