Teaching children about feelings can be challenging since it is a bit of an abstract concept.
It is easier for children to see and label letters, shapes, and colors, but helping them understand the relationship between emotions and behavior can take some time and effort.
But we know there are benefits to having emotional awareness. Children who recognize their emotions and feelings are better at expressing themselves and are less likely to act out when their emotions become unstable.
For example, instead of hitting or throwing tantrums, they learn to express themselves by saying things such as, “I am mad at you,” and “You are making me upset.”
According to a study by Denham and Salisch, children with ’emotion knowledge’ were more likely to improve their attention skills.
They found that children with higher levels of inattention were more likely to have a harder time understanding the feelings of others, as well as their own.
Why is this such a big deal?
As children improve their emotional skills, they spend less time and energy trying to understand the emotions and behaviors of themselves and others. They are able to focus on other areas such as playing, developing social relationships, and academic learning.
Are you thinking of teaching emotion regulation skills to your child?
Then keep reading 😀
In this article, we cover the benefits of emotional awareness and how to use a feelings poster, self-regulation skills, and some simple ways to help your children learn about feelings.
The Benefits of Teaching Children how to Express Emotions
Before we dig into different ways to teach emotions and their regulation to young children, let’s look at the benefits of teaching about emotions.
- Children who are aware of others’ emotions and feelings are more empathetic.
- Understanding emotions make children more socially and emotionally aware.
- It helps them to navigate relationships, problem-solving skills, and conflict resolution effectively.
- Teaching children emotions-related vocabulary can also help them communicate and feel better.
- Kids who are good at understanding their emotions are calmer than those who don’t. Being emotionally aware of their challenging feelings helps them address them proactively, rather than throwing a tantrum or acting aggressively.
Five Steps to Teach Emotional Self-Regulation
Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, understand and manage emotions. It is an essential skill that aids in self-regulation and self-control.
Results of a number of studies suggest that emotional intelligence may play a greater role in cognitive development and academic success than general intelligence. It makes sense that children with better self-awareness and self-control are able to focus in the classroom.
Self-regulation allows us to manage our emotions and behavior according to the situation. Some examples includes:
- controlling highly emotional reactions
- calming yourself when upset
- adjusting to changes in expectations
- appropriately handling frustration
Next we will discuss five basic steps to teach self-regulation to your kids to improve their emotional health and wellbeing.
Understanding Different Feelings
The essential part of emotional regulation is to understand different feelings. It is crucial to teach children that we can have a wide range of emotions and the words used to express them. You can download the free Feelings Detective Starter Kit (w/ feelings poster) to help your child get a jump start in developing his or her emotional vocabulary.
It is also a good idea to discuss comfortable and uncomfortable feelings as it helps them become more aware of what contributes to their feeling of safety or discomfort. Reading books about emotions and feelings is also a great way to help children improve their emotional literacy.
Identifying Emotions
Studies show that 91% of 30-36-month-olds, and 59% of 42-48-month olds throw tantrums, and it is common for toddlers to have them frequently, sometimes daily.
The most common reason for tantrums among children is not being able to express their thoughts and feelings appropriately.
We strongly believe in the importance of developing emotional skills, which is why we created a free feelings poster to use with your own family.
Teachers and counselors are also welcome to print off and send the feelings poster home with their students and clients, so children can practice emotion identification at home.
The world-renowned psychiatrist Dan Siegel introduced the concept of “name it to tame it.” The idea is to be able to manage one’s emotions, we first have to be able to identify how we are feeling.
Once you have taught your child about the names of different emotions, it is time to help him put his feelings vocabulary into practice.
You can use the feelings poster in the Feelings Detective Starter Kit to help your child learn and deal with different emotions appropriately.
Similarly, you can playfully practice a guess the emotion game with your child. Take a piece of paper or blanket and cover your face. Slowly lower it down, reveal a different emotion, and ask your child to guess the feeling. Your child can reference the feelings poster and do the same.
Accept Their Emotions and Feelings
Parents and teachers can help children understand their emotions are valid. We have a great opportunity to normalize their feelings and reaction toward challenging situations.
Children can become ashamed and embarrassed of their big emotional reactions and lack of behavioral control. If we show our disappointment and frustration as adults, it can lead to children shutting down and suppressing their feelings.
Always remember that expression is the key to success.
If your child fails to express his thoughts and emotions, he will struggle to learn how to regulate them. Show empathy, even if your child is struggling to control his anger or if he is throwing a temper tantrum.
Tell your child that you understand his frustration and that it is okay to be upset, but the aggressive behavior or hitting is unacceptable.
Teach Children to Express Their Emotions
Once you have built a strong emotional connection with your child, teaching them about expressing their emotions will get easier.
As children grow older and improve their emotional skills it is ok set boundaries and limitations surrounding their behavioral choices. For example, you can tell them how feeling mad or disappointed is normal but behaving aggressively can hurt ourselves or others.
You can tell them appropriate ways to deal with their frustration by reviewing their options.
Common strategies include: taking a break, getting a drink of water, riding bike or playing outside, reading a book, talking with an adult, and many more.
An easy way to introduce regulation skills can be found in the Feelings Detective Kit. Your child can develop a plan for what strategies they might use when having emotional challenges.
Teach Regulation Skills
While we can not shield our children from challenging situations, we can teach children to handle difficulties by managing their emotions and behaviors. You and your child can practice different activities and observe what helps them to reduce their energy level and find a state of calm.
In addition to the regulation strategies listed above, others include: drawing, painting, singing, playing a musical instrument, or just going for a walk.
There are five helpful ways to analyze a situation and act accordingly:
- Encourage your child to recognize his feelings and identify them. At times, children may have too much emotional energy to be able to think clearly and might need some help identifying the feeling.
- Ask what made him feel this way?
- Redirect his attention towards activities that calm him down. Teach your child to look for hobbies and activities that he likes to do when feeling down or upset. Let him choose from some of his favorite options.
- You can also brainstorm different calming strategies with your child. He can do some sort of physical activity to release his frustration in a productive manner.
- Be physically and emotionally present for your child. Your support and love can help them practice being emotionally stable and calm.
Note: Teaching children about their emotions and how to self-regulate is an important process. You won’t always be available to help them manage their emotional and social challenges. While children benefit from self-regulation skills, they will never outgrow the need to co-regulate. We have a need as humans to connect with others. Being able to share our thoughts and feelings with those we love and trust helps us resolve internal conflicts and improve our emotional state. When we practice co-regulation with our children, not only are they learning about managing their own emotions, but they also get the opportunity to practice positive relationship skills.
Final Words about Using a Feelings Poster
Emotional regulation is a vital skill that helps children be more empathetic and social, while also improving their own emotional health. As caring adults, we can help our kids learn about emotions and strategies to manage their behaviors. Having a foundation of emotional skills helps children grow into reliable and loving individuals.
We hope you find the feelings poster is a useful resource for your family, students, or clients. 
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