As parents, we have a lot on our plates. Between working, running the household, and taking care of kids, there is a lot to do. If you have ever wondered to yourself how much longer you will be cleaning up your kids messes, putting away their toys, or picking up their clothes, keep reading.
While it will years before your children will be fully independent, they can start developing valuable skills today!
Children take great pleasure in feeling needed and trusted. They also love to have their own “jobs” for which they’re responsible. Children feel empowered when they are able to contribute to the household and family.
However, we often end up doing the tasks ourselves instead of involving them, because we want to get the job done as efficiently as possible.
Research has shown children that children that help out with chores are more likely to be successful as adults, especially when they start at a young age.
Involving a child may slow the job down a bit, but the benefits they’ll gather from being involved and the lessons they learn in the process will be well worth it in the long run.
The Benefits of a Chore Routine
There are many positive reasons for children to have a consistent chore routine.
Completing tasks and doing them well has a positive impact on a child’s self-esteem.
They gain a sense of accomplishment which, over time, can increase individual internal motivation. A child’s self-esteem grows through accomplishing tasks for which they are responsible.
A significant increase in the child’s sense of independence is another valuable benefit of completing chores.
Children largely learn by doing. They will develop their own drive and be self-motivated when it comes to completing and accomplishing tasks.
When a child takes initiative at home, this leads to them taking initiative in other areas of their lives as they grow towards adulthood.
Practical Life Skills
Children learn practical skills as well as they routinely complete chores.
A child’s participation in a consistent chore regimen helps them develop solid schedules and routines in their day-to-day life.
In order for their schedules to run smoothly as they grow older and have more responsibilities, they benefit from having good time management skills.
Time Managment
Time management is a vital skill for children to learn that will support them for the duration of their lives.
Having strong time management skills is important in their younger years as they navigate life as a student, but these skills are even more crucial for them to have as adults when they’re running their own family, succeeding in the workplace, and interacting with others.
Being exposed to time management concepts by having individual responsibilities and routines in childhood, lays the groundwork for lifelong successful time management skills.
Teamwork
Another benefit to doing chores is the acquisition of the “teamwork” mentality.
When a child pitches in with the rest of the family members, it makes them feel like they’re part of a collaborative team.
If everyone pitches in, the task gets completed faster, allowing for more time to play and be together as a family.
It is commonly understood that high-achieving people tend to have a teamwork-centric mindset. They see the value in collaboration with others to create favorable outcomes and objectives.
When a child is used to assisting at home, they will also be used to collaborating and cooperating with others both inside and outside of the home.
Doing chores in childhood helps children acquire life skills they will benefit them for years to come.
Developmentally Appropriate Chores for 5 Year-Olds
It’s important to make sure the specific chores assigned to a child are age-appropriate in order to ensure success and to develop a healthy attitude toward their chore routine.
Some developmentally appropriate tasks for a 5 year-old child include:
- setting the table
- making their bed
- bringing in the mail/packages
- unloading some of the dishwasher load
- wiping up spills
- putting toys away
- putting their clothes into the laundry hamper
5 year-olds are capable of a lot more than the general public gives them credit for, but if there’s a task that a child cannot do entirely independently, it may be worth considering working together to complete the chore.
The adult could take the more intricate or complicated parts of the task, and the child could conquer the simpler aspects of the task.
For example, a 5 year-old isn’t able to do the entire laundry process as they are most likely too small to navigate the washer and dryer.
However, they can do certain aspects of the process, such as putting away dirty clothes, folding certain articles of clothing, and putting some clothes away where they belong.
Working together can help reinforce the teamwork mentality that is so vital for children to establish.
The Benefits of Using a Reward System
There are many reasons both for and against reward systems and it’s up to each parent whether or not they want to utilize use one for chores in their household.
Using a reward system introduces the concept working towards short and long-term goals, as well as cause and effect.
Children begin to make the connection “If I complete my chores, I will then be able to have my reward.” This can function as a motivating force for them to get the job done.
But rewards don’t have to be tangible objects; they can be experiences too!
Some developmentally appropriate rewards for a 5 year-old include, but are not limited to:
- extra minutes of screen time
- family movie night
- ice cream date with a parent
- a treat of some kind (up to the discretion of the parent)
- coins/dollar bills, a small toy
- and more
It’s really up to personal preference (and what will be a good motivator for your child) when it comes to creating a reward system that is going to work for you and your family.
Don’t underestimate the value of positive affirmation and praise. Positive feedback on a job well done is incredibly valuable, and is a reward in and of itself.
Positive messages increase a child’s self-esteem and helps them feel empowered to master valuable life skills.
The Power of Intrinsic Motivation
While some may choose to implement a reward system, other parents choose to do without one. There are a few reasons for this, and it varies from person to person.
Overall, chores are about learning responsibility, empowerment, and learning how to practically accomplish household tasks.
Some parents are hesitant to use a reward system because they believe if you offer a reward for completing a chore, it resembles more of a transaction, which does not foster intrinsic motivation.
External rewards can sometimes undermine a higher goal of motivating children to complete tasks for the good of their family and to feel a sense of self-satisfaction.
Some parents worry that children that are motivated by external rewards may not develop the same internal drive to take care of their responsibilities.
Those who opt-out of using a reward system for chores tend to focus more on developing intrinsic motivation within children.
As parents, we do not get paid for doing the laundry or doing the dishes. Taking care of household tasks is part of the commitment we make as being part of a family.
Earning rewards can certainly be a motivator for children to complete their chores. It also helps children make the connection between having to work in order to get paid (certainly an important life lesson).
Before implementing a reward system, we encourage parents to consider the unspoken messages it sends to your children about taking care of their responsibilities.
Providing a child with a new and deeper perspective is key in cultivating intrinsic motivation within them.
Show them the higher purpose behind it all.
Recognize their efforts, ask them how it feels to get the job done, applaud their growth, and celebrate their success.
Feeling successful will help fuel them to accomplish their goals.
Before adding a reward system, consider the purpose. Are you trying to get tasks completed, or is it more about helping your child develop self-motivation?
Getting Started with a Chore Chart
As you prepare to introduce a chore chart to your child, there are a couple important things to consider:
1) What are some chore options in my house?
2) What chores can my child complete successfully?
Tip: Allowing your child to have a say in choosing their chores, gives them a sense of autonomy and increases the likelihood that they will follow through. The FREE Feelings Detective Chore Chart kit allows you and your child the ability to create and customize their own chore chart.
Having clear expectations is key to eliminating miscommunications and, ultimately, unnecessary conflict. Make sure your child knows how to complete the tasks on their chart.
There are three helpful steps when it comes to introducing and assigning chores:
1) Show them how to do the chore (They won’t be able to know how it’s meant to be done without first seeing it).
2) Once you’ve shown them how it’s done, have them help you with it.
3) Have your child complete the chore while you supervise.
After they have shown they can complete the chore on their own, encourage them to do it independently (as long as the chore is safe to complete without supervision).
At this point, they will still may still need reminders and assistance here and there, but over time, they will be able to do more and more on their own.
Final Thoughts About Chore Charts
Household chores are necessary functions of everyday life, but they are also a valuable opportunity to instill a great deal of positive qualities our children.
The concepts, benefits, and lessons that a chore routine teaches children carryover into all areas of their life: family relationships, friendships, schooling, future employment, raising their own family, and running their own household.
While it takes a bit of time and effort on your part, the skills obtained through completing chores consistently provide children a foundation of healthy habits that will promote success throughout the rest of their lives.
